Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Just to Update the Religion Thing

I got 14 out of 15 on the Pew Religious Knowledge Test and I'm definitely in the Agnostic/Atheist category. This put me, apparently in the top 1 or 2 percent. Suck.on.that. This is going to make me sooooooooooooooooo much money and get me soooooooooooo laid. Because what is better in America than knowing enough to be considered moderately intelligent and well educated...other than being accused of being a socialist?

Turns out I was pitching a perfect score until the very end when I blew the last question, which shamefully was more a historical than religious question. (To turn off the sarcasm for a second, it didn't strike me as that difficult, in fact it's rather easy except for the last question).

So bring on the money and sex!

20 comments:

Athenawise said...

Atta, I took the test and got the same result. That last question is a tricky one.

With our country in the state it's in (thank you, religion), I think I'll opt for money over sex.

DrDick said...

Because what is better in America than knowing enough to be considered moderately intelligent and well educated...other than being accused of being a socialist?

That would rather explain my love life, being a pointy-headed agnostic socialist professor.

DrDick said...

And FWIW, I scored 100% on the test.

Athenawise said...

Humph. DrDick is so holier-than-thou.

Michael said...

Also got all 15, but merely guessed right on the last one.

Maybe I should go celebrate with a blood of Christ in a snifter (when I was an altar boy, the "wine" was actually some sort of brandy.)

MarkC said...

Everything right but the Great Awakening question... drat! I had to pause over one other, deciding between Job and Abraham. If DrDick gets all the money and sex, I'm going on strike.

mileslarboy said...

Thanks for the link to the quiz! That was fun. I got 14 out of 15 too but I thought that teachers could lead the class in prayer which is dumb dumb dumb but I'm probably just anticipating what the eventual goal is for the teabaggers and friends. I'm pretty sure that I got a couple though because I've seen the news articles on the subject (e.g., even though I was raised Catholic, I thought that Communion was symbolic ... are they SURE about that one???).

DrDick said...

Humph. DrDick is so holier-than-thou.

A holier-than-thou unbeliever! I like the concept.

Anonymous said...

Could it be that the test was too easy?

Joe Blow said...

hmmmpf.. that last question is unfair. people were asleep during the first great awakening and had to wait for the second..

"Which one of these preachers participated in the period of religious activity known as the First Great Awakening?"

but.. my girldfriend is an atheist as I and she says she finds my knowledge and my reading books on science and history.. to be be sexy and if I quote something neat she immediately dives in and starts blowing me.

I trying and find good stuff like.. "Does time exist independant of spacial dimensions? or is the "Direction of Time" just part of the geometry of space?

and then she gets all quivery inside...

Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said...

Woo hoo! Another atheist with 15 out of 15 here...

Fortunately, my wife is an atheist too...

Unfortunately, she just said "No blowjobs"...

And yes, BTW, that final question IS pretty tricky...

Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said...

Oh, yeah, I forgot---

My doppelganger Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers perform

"Atheists Don't Have No Songs"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWlqpowKkBY

DanF said...

Yes Larry - they are sure about that one. It's called the "miracle of transubstantiation". And when you get to the alter and the priest places the wafer on your tongue and says, "This is the body of Christ," you should always answer with, "Man that's good Jesus! Can I wash it down with a shot of his blood?"

It never fails to get a laugh followed by excommunication.

pansypoo said...

this lapsed lutheran guessed right on the last one. just missed a jewish question. i don't know many jews except on teevee.

but most of the question were about OTHER religions. fundies will no be impressed.

Montag said...

Anyone who recalls reading "Sinners in the Hands Of An Angry God" in American Lit would probably get the last one correct.

jimmiraybob said...

"Anyone who recalls reading 'Sinners in the Hands Of An Angry God'..."

Really good stuff. I'll never forget the image of the spider and the serpent.

"The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours."

Nothing says loving like....well, ....something else. I need to memorize this for the Sunday morning door knockers.

Major Woody said...

Another Darksider to get 14/15! I missed on the Great Awakening question too, guess I slept through that one.

DanF said:

"Man that's good Jesus!"


My sister is a Converted Catholic (the most fervent kind) and when she got married she had me and my brother in the wedding party, an atheist and a Wiccan. She told us in no uncertain terms to refuse when the priest offered us the cannibalistic bounty. When it was our turn the priest looked at me and said "Body of Christ?" and I just shook my head "no". My brother, on the other hand, quietly said, "No thanks, I had some on the way over, I'm stuffed." The priest sort of glared a bit, bro and I chuckled, and my sister was P.O'd.

res ipsa loquitur said...

I got 15 out of 15.

IN YOUR FACE, ATTATURK!

Anonymous said...

Your brains are mere fodder for the zombies.
It's the MONEY, what's in your wallet besides a condom that give you blowjobs, and the other joys of sexual liberation
vox

DanF said...

No thanks, I had some on the way over, I'm stuffed.

Priceless. Absolutely priceless.